There’s debate about whether weight loss after 40 is more difficult to achieve. But what’s not debatable is that dieting after 40 should never be the primary purpose of your life. Are you still obsessed with dieting, your weight, calories, points, fat grams, BMI, cellulite, thigh gap, or what size you wear?
I confess that I spent way too many years making dieting the primary relationship in my life. How boring! I wish I could get back all those hours searching for the perfect diet, talking endlessly about food and calories, feeling miserable when I didn’t find the success I was looking for. And most importantly, spending so much energy on this mentality that I didn’t have time for more purposeful life-enriching activities.
Become a better person; not a better dieter
Letting go of chronic dieting and diet mentality freed me on so many levels. It freed me from always feeling like a failure when a diet didn’t work, and it freed me to start focusing on becoming a better person, not just a better dieter.
It’s time to leave your diet-crazy, ego-driven princess ways behind and grow into the evolved queen you deserve to be.
Put away your tiara
It’s time for all of us women over 40 to put away our tiaras. Stop trying to be 20 again when life was all about makeup, jeans that made your ass look good, and reaching the perfect number on the scale.
When you’re young, it’s common, and even expected, to be all tied up in your looks. You’re fixated on looking pretty and sexy. And the media certainly helps you feed into this outer world obsession.
Don’t short-change yourself
But once you reach 30, 40, and above, the focus on your appearance should no longer be how you define yourself. It’s time to turn inward and let the world see your personality, intellect, creativity, and humanity – your unique brilliance. You’re short-changing yourself if you’re spending your precious energy on losing weight instead of living a more substantial, meaningful, purposeful, fulfilling life.
If you’re constantly dieting and wishing your body was different, you’re totally missing out on the beauty of this stage of life. Being over 40 is amazing, unless you’re still trying to be 20 or even 30. Being a woman over 40 is magnificent, unless you’re beating yourself up because you’re not the perfect size.
One of the less widely talked about reasons women over 40 are unhappy with their bodies and often have dysfunctional relationships with food is that they’ve never grown up. They haven’t grown into the natural life stage where they are more than just pretty outer shells.
This is a time to get past the surface of life and dig deeper. It’s a time of transition that can lead to such a rich and robust life. New laugh lines and tighter clothes are nothing compared to the freedom and wisdom you receive as you get older.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting weight loss after 40, but don’t make it the primary focus of your life.
Chronic dieting diminishes the beautiful and unique woman you are. This is a time to evolve into a fuller, more vibrant and powerful woman who is so much more than a number on a scale.
You don’t need to be a certain size to be loved, valued, and happy.
Don’t you want to spend your time and energy on finding out who you really are instead of stressing about unwanted pounds? Interestingly enough, when you stop worrying about the extra pounds and start living more authentically and purposefully, the weight often just naturally comes off. And you won’t have to eat diet food! You’ll be attracted to living a healthier lifestyle and eating healthy food will come naturally for you.
Often we focus on the things we lose when we get older – unlined youthful skin, less attention from the opposite sex, or a faster metabolism. If you continue to focus on these “losses”, you can’t discover the amazing gains acquired as you age.
Gains from exchanging your tiara for a crown:
- You know so much more than you did at 20 or 30.
- Your life experiences have helped you learn and expand.
- Your world is so much bigger than just your outer shell and your personal needs.
- You have faith in a higher wisdom.
- You no longer have to listen to or care what others think. The scale no longer imprisons you.
Your power doesn’t come from your appearance or what others think about you. Your power comes from inside – love, intuition, wisdom, and spirituality.
You’ve loved, overcome adversities, learned, and evolved. To finally grow and move forward, though, you have to say goodbye to the 20 year old you used to be (she can still come out and play once in a while). Throw away your princess tiara and put on your queen’s crown. It’s time to act your age!
If weight loss after 40 is taking up primary real estate in your life, it may be time for a shift. Exchange the diets and restriction for more love, purpose, and joy.
- Make a list of women over 40 who you admire. What do you appreciate about them? Most likely it’s their accomplishments, wisdom, humanitarianism, philanthropy, or intelligence – and not their weight. Your role models don’t make weight loss after 40 their primary reason for being.
- Journal: Visualize sitting on your front porch when you’re 90 years old thinking back on your life. What are you most proud of about the life you’ve lived? Is it your weight? Or is it about who you loved and how you lived? Did you sacrifice precious time and energy on diets and calories instead of on living fully and purposefully?